Friday, July 31, 2009

Friday, July 31, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Having left his litter box at home, Heathcliff requests permission to perform a burial ritual in the pitcher's mound.

A baseball pitcher with a huge pimple on his chin, is standing on the pitcher's mound, facing the dugout. Heathcliff is offering his make-up kit so the pitcher can see and treat the zit. The pitcher however, appears to have fallen asleep.

In the dugout, the manager is saying "He's trying a different bubble gum flavor." Not only would this be an unsatisfactory reason to stop a baseball game, but the manager cannot see what's going on as he has no eyes.

One Year Ago (31 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

To alleviate boredom, the police stick a Mental Ward patient in a room with a cat.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Thursday, July 30, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Having expired after eating rotten fish, Heathcliff is carried to heaven by an angelic raccoon.

Heathcliff and a raccoon have been gifted with the superhero power of flight. Hovering above the city dump, they are fighting over an exploding ball of popcorn while holding the skeletal remains of a fish and some unidentified animal. A man in a jumpsuit guarding the entrance to the dump, is telling his identically attired partner that he is repeatedly hearing a "high-five sound." This can most likely be attributed to the toxic fumes coming from the dump. Even if Heathcliff and his friend were slapping each other high-fives, two flying mammals bringing their paws together would produce a much different sound.

As always, night in the Heathcliff comics is indicated by a single black cloud in the sky which the moon (minus a square chunk) has somehow gotten in front of.

One Year Ago (30 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Heathcliff finds no humor in the talking fish's comedy routine.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Wednesday, July 29, 2009 Heathcliff Anaylzed

"I wanted it to say 'Garage Sale.' Have him fix it or he's fired."

A rat with an olive stuck on its nose is seated on the lawn next to a sign which reads "Beware of Billy." Apparently we are to believe that the rat is named Billy and that despite its tranquil demeanor, all are to fear him. Why the rat felt compelled to put such a sign up and pose next to it is unknown.

Mr Nutmeg is defying physics by standing in front of the upper window pane. He has somehow read the sign despite not being in a position to do so. Having no regard for the fortune that he could amass with a writing rat, he orders Heathcliff to evict Billy with the others.

Heathcliff doesn't give a shit.

One Year Ago (29 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

The cats fight to suppress their laughter over the lifeguard's Mickey Mouse hairdo.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

"I don't care if he is a cat. The charge is still $225 an hour."

Mrs Nutmeg has apparently brought Heathcliff to a pet psychiatrist. In this strip we see Heathcliff dressed in a mascot uniform, laying on a couch while meowing furiously. Instead of telling Mrs Nutmeg that the little uniform is too tight and is restricting the cat's movements, the pet psychiatrist pretends to understand the meowing and says that Heathcliff blames everything on umpires.

Afterwards, Mrs Nutmeg will go home $225 poorer, the pet psychiatrist will go home to his mansion with his belief in the stupidity of the masses reinforced, and Heathcliff will still be meowing in his restricting uniform.

One Year Ago (28 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Unable to go out due to inclement weather, Heathcliff comes to announce that he's left a present on the living room carpet.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Monday, July 27, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Heathcliff's last moments of happiness before seeing his reflection and realizing that he's a cat.

Heathcliff is standing atop a granite pedestal looking into a fishbowl. Seeing some kitty-litter at the bottom of the bowl, he begins to drool. Somehow the drool flies from the back of his neck towards his tail.

In the fishbowl, the fish on the left has inexplicably expectorated three pearls.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Sunday, July 26, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Having been cast adrift on an ironing board, Heathcliff suddenly spots land. Riding a wave, he notices a fish and slaps it out of the water. Still riding the wave, he holds the fish and admires it with his tongue sticking out.

Suddenly a flock of piranha birds attack and strip the fish to the bone. On shore, Heathcliff is remorseful that he had not thought of grabbing the birds and eating them. A surfer rubs in Heathcliff's stupidity by telling the cat that he'll have to stay hungry. In the last panel, which is not printed, the surfer is running across the beach streaming after Heathcliff scratches his eyes out.

One Year Ago (26 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

During the power outage, Pop decided to use Heathcliff as a portable air-conditioner.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Saturday, July 25, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

"He practicing the sleep deprivation techniques he learned at Guantánamo Bay."

In this comic it appears that a dog has been propped up in a doorway, secured in place by its tail. Heathcliff is screaming at this poor creature in the form of a single, wavering musical note. Iggy is telling his strange companion that "It's a pitch only dogs can hear."

How Iggy can hear the sound is not known. Nor is it explained how Heathcliff produced it. This sound is of no consequence anyway, as the dog cannot hear it, having either expired or suffering from a hangover.

The most interesting thing about this comic is Iggy's mouthless friend, who has a large black and red spider atop his head, complete with a yellow propeller.

One Year Ago (25 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Having expected an emergency, the fireman contemplates beating the woman to death with his ladder.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Having completed a course in zoology, Heathcliff contemplates his mutant paw.

Heathcliff is seen strolling away from the University dressed in a suit and glasses and carrying a briefcase. A young female student seems to believe that the cat is a professor of a nonexistent field called finicky science. She has most likely never witnessed Heatcliff sucking on the skeletal remains of fish from trash cans filled with what appears to be human waste.

The male student seems to be more in tune with what's really happening. His expression seems to indicate that he understands that, when they start seeing suited cats, they've been partying too hard in the dorms.

Both students appear to have stood on the sidewalk when the concrete was still wet, and now seem to have their feet trapped.

One Year Ago (24 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned)

Despite the squirrels' warnings, Heathcliff saunters within reach of the neighborhood perverts.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Thursday, July 23, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

"It's s'posed to be a fire truck. If you don't like the way it's drawn, take it up with Gallagher."

Heathcliff is incapable of speech; therefore the fireman has made a totally irrelevant statement about sparkling water. Perhaps the fireman has been drinking too much sparkling champagne.

Even if Heathcliff could talk, the sparkling water thing here makes no sense. Or it makes as little sense as the tiny door next to the firehouse or the yellow shoes worn by everyone in town - or the fact that Peter Gallagher is making a living off of this comic . . . .

One Year Ago (23 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Heathcliff distracts the jeweler so Spike can make off with the jewels. Unfortunately Spike thought that the responsibility to distract was supposed to be his. . . .

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Having no luck selling minnows or clams, the bait salesman offers the fisherman "peppered cat."

Heathcliff has approached a bait booth with his paw glued to a box. Instead of assisting, the bait salesman sprinkles the glued paw with ground pepper. This can possibly be forgiven as the salesman may have thought that the box contained some sort of food which needed pepper. However, at the same time, the salesman is offering a fisherman some ground pepper, despite the fact that the fisherman is holding nothing but a fishing pole.

Further proof of the salesman's insanity are the two fish silhouettes on the side of the booth. Possibly this guy has delusions that he's a fighter pilot who has shot down a couple of whales.

The fisherman has yellow shoes.

One Year Ago (22 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

And then one day the mice realized why the rent on this hole had been so cheap.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Tuesday, July 21, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

The Nutmeg Family tries to rent Heathcliff out as a foghorn.

Three members of the Yellow Shoe Club have met on a dock. Pop Nutmeg is telling an unknown man that the first rule of fishing is not to eat the bait. Apparently the stranger was planning to eat some worms or something, and Pop advised him against it.

The second rule of fishing should be to not bring a belching cat. Not only will the cat eat any fish that they catch, but stuck in the little rowboat, everyone will have to smell his cat breath each time he burps.

Iggy spends a little too much time with his hand in his pocket . . . .

One Year Ago (21 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Having joined the Communist Party, Heathcliff tries to combine the likenesses of Lenin, Marx and Engles.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Monday, July 20, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Knowing Pop's incompetence with the barbeque grill, Heathcliff summons the Fire Department.

Pop appears to be sleepwalking down a short landing strip, heading towards a smoking barbeque grill. Heathcliff is blowing dust balls through a trumpet to try to rouse the old man, who is seconds from disaster.

In the foreground, Iggy is speaking to a strange, bald child with a large spider on his head.

Pop is wearing yellow shoes.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sunday, July 19, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

After dreaming about bees, Heathcliff wakes up and smacks a clock. Then, despite being in the habit of parading around the streets naked, he dons a bathrobe. Pouring a cup of coffee, he takes a newspaper and goes strolling down the sidewalk. Coming upon a pair of trash cans, he lifts off like a rocket, a trail of exhaust coming from his hindpaws. This take off causes one trash can to turn over, spilling human waste upon the sidewalk. The other trash can is apparently vaporized behind the word "Ka-Blang." In the end, we find Heathcliff seated upon the overturned trash can, reading his newspaper with the skeletal remains of a fish sticking out of his mouth.

The only clue we have to this peculiar ritual is a strange man with a black ashtray on his head, saying to his friend "Sunday Brunch." Despite Heathcliff's abnormal conduct, the two men who appear in the last strip are even stranger. This pair has appeared in this comic strip before, carrying trash cans through fields or from behind people's houses and putting them on the sidewalk. Even if one could stretch the imagination and think that they may be garbage collectors, garbage isn't picked up on Sundays.

One Year Ago Today (19 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Heathcliff mistakes a mysterious "Table Scraps" truck for a taxi.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Saturday, July 18 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Still having flashbacks from the 60s, the old hippie saw nothing unusual about a cat in a baseball uniform.

Heathcliff is dressed in a little baseball uniform, standing on the contents of his litter box which has been dumped in a field. Apparently there is a question of ownership concerning the pile, as Heathcliff is staring down a hippie in a mini-robe over it. The shortness of the hippie's robe has so frightened a child in the background that the boy, his eyes wide with terror, has raised a baseball bat in self defense. Behind the child, a small mummy surveys the scene.

Heathcliff's animal trainer, unable to move with his feet buried in he ground, is talking to Pop. Pop, having lost his legs below the knees, is balanced on the fence.

And so another normal day passes in the life of Heathcliff.

One Year Ago (18 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Needing to supplement his income, the pizza delivery man was forced to take a part-time job at the Genetic Modification Experimental Laboratory.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Friday, July 17, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Fed up with her idiotic family, Mrs Nutmeg evicts her cat while destroying her husband's golf clubs.

Mrs Nutmeg stands in the doorway of her home, destroying her husband's golf clubs by striking a bowl of cat food. The bowl has been sent flying and slices through the legs of her husband. Mr Nutmeg doesn't seem to mind however. He is standing by the fence, telling one of his many mouthless neighbors that "She's just learning the game." Which game he's referring to is unknown. The neighbor, wearing a screen under his jacket, is stupefied.

Heathcliff, during all of this, is begging like a squirrel on the sidewalk. His tongue protruding supposedly indicates his anticipation of the food which is sailing far past him.

One Year Ago (17 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

His eyes filled with wonder, Iggy moves his hand towards forbidden territory.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Thursday, July 16, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

To show his displeasure with his cheap cat food, Heathcliff vomits in his bowl in B Flat Major.

Mrs Nutmeg has returned with her friend of two days ago. Since the July 14th comic, this woman has been fitted with a prosthetic foot, and has had cosmetic surgery to give her a mouth and nose. However, she has since lost her arms. This poor woman obviously leads a rough life.

Heathcliff greets his mistress and her guest by exposing himself in the doorway and producing an eructation of gas, accompanied by a few musical notes. Heathcliff never ceases to come up with new ways of showing disrespect towards women.

Mrs Nutmeg does not consider Heathcliff's spasmodic ejection of gas to be a burp however. Instead she tells her friend that "It's something like crooning." If this woman considers the belch of a cat to be soft and soothing, then perhaps her life has been even rougher than the one of her friend.

One Year Ago (16 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Seeing Heathcliff wearing his orange squeezer on his head, the birds suddenly realize that they're out of compliance with OSHA Regulations.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Marmaduke Analyzed

Please check out my other blog, Marmaduke Analyzed.
Thanks :)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Having missed his geriatric medication, Pop Nutmeg mistakes Heathcliff for a bundle of dirty laundry.

Pop Nutmeg has decided to perform the unorthodox task of cat-washing. This isn't a flea bath because his idiotic utterance indicates that the bath was to get the dirt off the cat. But even tough he wishes to clean the cat, he is performing this operation outdoors.

Pop has filled an old wooden washtub with some sort of bubbling concoction. Whatever was in the mysterious pink bottle behind Pop appears to have caused Heathcliff to have some sort of attack of nerve malfunction. Flipping himself to the ground, the cat is rolling around as if being stung by invisible bees, while flailing his forepaws karate style. Pop refers to this strange ritual as "the spin cycle." The term cycle indicates that this is a periodically repeated sequence of events. In this case it could indicate that Heathcliff has some sort of neurological disorder, and he should therefore be taken to a veterinarian.

Perhaps the strangest thing about this strip is that Pop appears to be committing cartoon suicide, erasing himself with a rag, beginning with his left hand.

One Year Ago (15 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

"Those photos prove nothing! That could be any priest with those cute, little choirboys!"

Please check out my "Unexplained Mysteries of the Bible" blog.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Heathcliff receives a standing ovation for his work produced in his 17th Century French litter box.

Heathcliff is in position to begin a Russian dance in front of an elaborate, four-post, canopied litter box, fit for a cat of Louis XIV. Little bubbles above his head indicate that he's hungover.

Mrs Nutmeg is standing next to a strange mouthless and noseless woman with one foot, who is wearing glasses with three lenses. Mrs Nutmeg is telling this mutant that "He likes waking up to a standing ovation." Mrs Nutmeg appears to be clapping while her mutant companion is blowing dustballs in the air.

Somewhere out there, Peter Gallagher is getting rich off of this strip . . . .

One Year Ago (14 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Heathcliff managed to blow a huge bubble which mysteriously reflected the baseball diamond as a four-paned window.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Monday, July 13, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Disturbed while calculating his business losses, Heathcliff considers scratching the boy's eyes out.

Heathcliff is trying to sell maps of dogcatchers homes. The preposition "of" as opposed to "to" indicates that these are floor plans of dogcatcher's homes. Why anyone would want a floor plan of a dogcatcher's home is a mystery. Perhaps, if dogs could read, they could buy the floor plans, then sneak in at night and, knowing in advance where the bedroom was, could go directly there and kill the dogcatcher. However, since these are not maps "to" the dogcatchers' homes, the dogs still wouldn't know how to get there.

Whatever the reason for starting this business, it doesn't seem to to be going over well. Despite the obvious fact that Heathcliff has no business, Iggy has appeared and is irritating the cat with his stupid "How's business?" question.

Note how Iggy has buried his feet in the ground, undoubtably embarrassed by those horrible yellow shoes that his grandparents make him wear.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sunday, July 12, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Heathcliff and Pop have failed to heed the old warning that if you make stupid faces they might stick that way. Throughout this whole comic, their mouths are stuck in the fully open position. This could be due to some sort of jaw paralysis, or it could be caused by the alien spaceship seen hovering outside their window.

For no apparent reason, the old man and the cat simultaneously rise like zombies, then begin performing a synchronized, high leg-kick dance step. Dancing across the bedroom, they continue their routine down the stairs. Once downstairs, Heathcliff finds a fish on a pedestal and goes over to wave to it. Not wanting to dance alone, Pop goes over and picks the cat up.

In the final panel, Grandma and Iggy appear, and Grandma tells Iggy that Heathcliff and Pop have a special bond between them. It would appear that Pop had got into some glue while Heathcliff was entertaining the fish, for his hands appear bonded to the cat and he can no longer put Heathcliff down.

The strangest thing about this comic is that it appears that Grandma and Iggy had been sleeping together.

One Year Ago (12 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Heathcliff has all the wharf cats hooked on fish urine.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Saturday, July 11, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

The animal control officer thought the call was a prank, until he arrived and saw for himself the inflatable pool lobster firmly attached to the cat's tail.

Heathcliff is seen running through the streets with an angry, mutant, three-legged lobster attached to his tail. Since the lobster is red, it's already been cooked, which could explain its anger. If it's been cooked in the city's tap water, it could explain the mutation as well.

In the background is a fishmonger telling a policeman, "It's cheaper than a security system." Surely the fishmonger wouldn't have employed lobsters as guard animals to thwart Heathcliff's stealing, for if that were the case, Heathcliff could just walk away with a free lobster every time he wanted to rob the store. Apparently this statement means that a cat screaming in the streets will scare away burglars. However, this would assume that the cat will be screaming in the streets all night long.

The policeman has no mouth, which is of little importance as the scene probably leaves him speechless anyway.

One Year Ago (11 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

"Of course we can do it. I mean, you are a cartoon, you know. All it takes is an eraser and a pencil."

Friday, July 10, 2009

Friday, July 10, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Stealthily Heathcliff creeps up on the old man, cleverly disguised as a 50 gallon drum of table scraps.

For some reason the Nutmegs have placed a 50 gallon drum in their kitchen for bottles. Pop must be a really heavy drinker if the normal recycling bin won't do for him. Heathcliff, seeing Pop with a sandwich, has disguised himself as another, identical 50 gallon drum, and marked it "Table Scraps." In the strip, either Heathcliff is sneaking up on Pop, or he had been waiting in the drum for the old man to toss in any morsels that may have fallen from his sandwich. Whatever the case, the cat decided to poke his head out, thereby blowing his cover. Pop wittily responds with a well thought-out "Scat."

One strange thing about this strip (stranger than the other strange things) is that Pop isn't eating the sandwich. Instead he seems to just be teasing the cat with it. On top of the sandwich, a small flame boom seems to be burning off pockets of natural gas within. Maybe the sandwich is just hiding a tiny oil rig.

One Year Ago (10 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Financial hardships force Heathcliff to take a job as a sign twirler at the local cheese shop.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Thursday, July 9, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

To protect himself against the local pediophiles, Iggy employs a flea-bitten cat and a dead fish.

Iggy is riding through the park on a partially assembled bicycle. Although the pedal isn't attached to anything, he appears to be making good progress. Accompanying Iggy is Heathcliff, holding a lifeless fish. The lifelessness of the fish can be attributed to it's being out of water. All three characters on the bike are wearing helmets.

Now, if Heathcliff were planning to eat the fish, it's understandable that he may try to protect it; but here, he has chosen to protect only its head. This seems to indicate that Heathcliff believes the fish to still be alive, and that he thinks he has some sort of relationship with it. Whether said relationship is platonic or otherwise is not known. However, holding the fish, Heathcliff appears genuinely happy.

On the park bench, two old men are watching Iggy pass by. Seeing the child, their glasses have steamed up, giving the impression that they have a rather unhealthy interest in the young boy. One of these pediophiles is saying to the other, "Safety first." This could be a warning that they should not go after this particular boy, either because he can outpace them on his strange bicycle, or because he is accompanied by a fish-wielding cat which has lobster claws instead of forepaws.

One Year Ago (9 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Distracted by her cat walking upright, Mrs Nutmeg fails to notice that a small spacecraft has crashed in her hair.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

His request to play "Go Fish," denied, Heathcliff reacts dramatically.

Heathcliff has vomited half a deck of playing cards, a number of poker chips and a few cotton balls. Pop Nutmeg responds by saying that "He's allergic to losing." This is apparently a reference to Heathcliff's arms, as they appear to be the only things lost.

The other two players at the table appear to be perturbed. Balancing their cards on their fingers, they're both flipping Heathcliff off.

One Year Ago (8 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Heathcliff's abuse of the elderly continues, this time with a well-aimed hairball.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Iggy Nutmeg goes into the hairstylist business with his new invention: The Cat's Ass Hair Dryer.

Heathcliff is obviously a sexist, harboring a deep hatred for women. It seems that he can no longer encounter a woman without plopping his ass down on her head. Look back at this strip from just 3 days ago (July 4, 2009). This cat has some definite psychological problems that need to be addressed.

We've seen in recent posts that Heathcliff has been resisting intimacy with women. It would appear that Heathcliff desires women, possibly even needs them. However, his need for women gives them a power over him that terrifies him and therefore he has tried to distance himself from females. He's even tried striking up relationships with trash cans and a refrigerator recently, as there is no need to be intimate with such "partners," and no chance of rejection. This has brought Heathcliff to his present state in which he now treats women with contempt and aggression, thereby asserting his own independence and fragile masculinity.

On July 4, Heathcliff humiliated Mrs Nutmeg by somehow wedging her head up his ass. In today's strip, he hasn't managed to accomplish the same thing with this strange woman, however, the humility goes further because he has actually gone to sleep with his ass on her head. The woman seems quite disturbed, and is even leaning forward slightly to keep Heathcliff from sliding off and waking up.

However, despite Heathcliff's strange behavior, even stranger things are happening here. For one, why do most men in Heathcliff's town wear yellow shoes (Iggy apparently is a member of the Yellow Shoe Youth Corps)? Second, why is Iggy's right foot swollen? And thirdly, what the hell is Iggy doing with his right hand?

One Year Ago (7 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Iggy began to have concerns about Heathcliff's request to borrow his hockey mask.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Monday, July 6, 2009 Heathcliff the Cat Analyzed

Heathcliff creatively uses curtains to send a distress call that his worm medication has run out.

Heathcliff has managed to hang in his window, some curtains decorated with worms. It is my guess that he had these made special order, because I really don't think there's a big market for such a thing. Apparently Heathcliff has hung these curtains to attract birds, as we see two birds in the birdbath outside and Heathcliff standing in the window, looking at them. If this is the case, then why Heathcliff didn't have his curtains decorated with insects is a mystery. Perhaps in Heathcliff's neighborhood, worms flutter in the breezes a few feet above the ground.

One of the birds notices that the worms aren't real, and tells the other bird (in perfect English), "Pay no attention to the worm curtains." The other bird is silent, but he must be thinking, "Screw your curtains, I'm worried about the cat in the window."

This brings up the question of why Heathcliff is standing in plain view if he wishes to lure the birds in with his floating worms. Maybe he really doesn't want to catch the birds at all. Maybe (as I mentioned above) he's just sending a signal to the Nutmeg Family that he has worms. Or maybe this comic is a worm virus and your computer is now hopelessly infected . . . .


Sunday, July 5, 2009

One Year Ago (5 July 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Heathcliff disrupts the family outing with his side job of boot shining.