Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wednesday. September 23, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Frank is assigned meaningless light duty following his worker's compensation head injury.

Below is Peter Gallagher's Heathcliff comic from July 31, 2008. This is no doubt the longest interrogation in history.
Note how the interrogator has been in the room so long that he is overdue for another haircut. Fatigue has started to get the better of him, and he now continues his drilling from a seated position. The lieutenant has grown bored with the whole thing, and his eyes are now nearly closed. The man with the cigar has apparently forgotten to light it, as it is the same length it was 14 months ago. It could be assumed that he had fallen into a coma, had he not donned a different tie. Heathcliff on the other hand, is in the identical position he was in last year. As Heathcliff has had numerous other adventures since this comic originally appeared, the cat being interrogated is most likely a cardboard cutout. This would also explain his indifference. What can not be explained is how Peter Gallagher continues to profit from resurrecting stale and weak jokes.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

The recession claims the dignity of another of the unemployed.

Heathcliff has apparently shoved a giant hot dog over a singing balloon salesman, deforming the man's arm in the process. Pop pretends to be asleep while Mrs Nutmeg tells the man that her husband always remembers his birthday.


One Year Ago (25 August 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

High on garbage fumes, the trashman ignores the hallucination before his eyes.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Fed up with poor drawing, Heathcliff has begun to erase today's comic.

A cloud of steam has risen from the fish market window, blocking out what appears to be a large eel lying within. In the market, the a fish is emerging from the fishmonger's shirt.

Mrs Nutmeg accuses Heathcliff of fogging the window, unaware that someone has twisted the cat's paws behind his back.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sunday, August 23, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Heathcliff is happily strolling along the sidewalk when a cocoon with wings appears in front of him and says, "Bzzz." Heathcliff responds by opening his eyes and losing his mouth. Suddenly a whole squadron of winged cocoons appear and simultaneously say ,"Bzzz." This time Heathcliff performs a ritualistic movement in which he levitates above the sidewalk with his tongue protruding. The cocoons seems to want more, but having no more to offer, Heathcliff turns and runs. Despite the awkwardness of running upright, Heathcliff refuses to go down on all four paws.

Forming a small white cloud behind his feet, Heathcliff continues running down the sidewalk with the cocoons matching his speed. At one point Heathcliff tries changing his color, but the cocoons are not fooled and they continue their pursuit.

Finally Heathcliff arrives home. Rushing in the door which had been left open, he slams it behind himself and spits out a hairball. Suddenly a rodent dressed in a bee costume appears and says, "Bzzz," possibly telling Heathcliff that he can speak the language of the cocoons which are probably still hovering outside of the door. A white cloud then appears with the word "swat" written on it.

In the last panel, the costumed rodent is attempting to stand on his head. Another rodent has arrived and is trying to speak English, forming nonsense words like "bee-ish."

And so passes another day in the inexplicable life of Heathcliff.

One Year Ago (23 August 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

His litterbox full, the neighbor cat has taken to shitting in the Nutmeg's front yard.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Saturday, August 22, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Heathcliff tries to drum up business for the local tire shop.

Using his litterbox scoop, Heathcliff litters the street with bones from a bucket. On the sidewalk, a dogcatcher tells a passerby that Heathcliff is like a fisherman using chum. Apparently the dogcatcher believes that there are dogs hiding beneath the asphalt that will now burst to the surface to get the bones. So confident is he of this, that he has his fishing net ready.

Once again, the streets are dominated by members of the strange Yellow Shoe Society.

One Year Ago (22 August 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Heathcliff's attempt at teaching Pop to read results in failure.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday, August 21, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Heathcliff cannot resist a sudden urge to check the effectiveness of the umpire's mask.

Heathcliff appears to have eaten a bird. He is seen here spitting what looks like bird shit along with a small group of feathers into the face of the umpire. The umpire is unable to step out of the way on account of a dwarf dressed in blue, sitting on his feet.

Iggy seems embarrassed by his cat's revolting behavior and tries to distract his friend by talking about sunflower seeds.

One Year Ago (21 August 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Once again, Pop proves incapable of handling his alcohol.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thursday, August 20, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Hired as an ambulance siren, Heathcliff was embarrased to learh he had climbed onto the wrong vehicle.

Heathcliff is seated on a poorly drawn ice cream truck with no steering wheel. With his mouth open, he is shedding numerous droplets of milk for reasons unknown.

The owner of the ice cream truck is ignoring the cat's strange behavior. He is trying to return a cup of coffee to a coffee shop employee, saying "It's even worse during lunch break." Apparently he's telling the coffee shop worker to start making fresh coffee for the lunch time.

One Year Ago (20 August 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

"So, how long do the effects of these mushrooms last?"

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Having to pay $65.00 to be told what was obvious, Iggy gains appreciation for the phrase, "There's a sucker born every minute."

Heathcliff emerges from a fortune-teller's office, looking as though he's been punched in the stomach and shedding droplets of milk. The fortune-teller tells Iggy that her tarot cards have said that Heathcliff has fleas. Iggy, in his yellow shoes, looks after Heathcliff as if trying to decide whether to allow him to return home or to leave him with the fortune-teller as payment.

One Year Ago (19 August 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

To supplement their income, the garbage collectors have begun pimping cats.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Heathcliff expects to be rewarded for using his portable litter box.

Heathcliff is experimenting with subliminal programming. Now understanding the concept fully, he has but a single slide.

Iggy and Mrs Nutmeg have succumbed to boredom. Pop is a little stronger willed, yet he seems to be incapable of moving from the couch. Instead he merely grumbles that he's tired of Heathcliff's powerpoint presentation.

Not being open to criticism, heathcliff is unfazed.

One Year Ago (18 August 2008) Heathcliff Recaptioned

Having been gifted with the power of speech, a bird puts it to use by tutoring others in the art of shitting.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Monday, August 17, 2009 Heathcliff Analyzed

Suddenly realizing that he's talking to cats, the counselor realizes that he has a problem.

Heathcliff and Sonja are together on a couch in the office of a couples counselor. Why they are not seated on separate chairs is a mystery. Why a pair of cats in in the counselor's office is also a mystery.

Heathcliff seems to have fallen asleep from sheer boredom while Sonja seems irritated by the dark stain on the counselor's elbow. The counselor appears to have been taking notes when he suddenly realizes that there are cats in his office. The fact that he has been recording the responses of creatures incapable of speech, coupled with the fact that cats can't pay, causes him to say, "I believe I see the problem." Having seen the problem, it can be assumed that he will now seek counseling for himself.